My Wedding Planning Process
Hi friends!! As most of you know I am now engaged to be married to my future husband, Ryan. He is the sweetest, most helpful guy I know and I couldn’t be happier to be marrying him! However, the wedding planning process so far has been very challenging! I did not expect it to be so difficult so early on. It has been especially strange being on this end of things, after spending 8 years in the wedding industry. To say I feel pressure to have the coolest, most perfect, most unique wedding is an understatment.
So, now that I know exactly how you all feel, I am going to do my best to share with you what I learn throughout my own wedding planning process. I will describe each of the steps we’ve taken along the way during our planning journey and hope to share with you tips, tricks, and insider ideas. At the least, I will offer you some moral support as a fellow bride!
The First Step
What’s the very first step to planning a wedding? Find out your wedding budget! I know budget can be such a dirty word sometimes but this little word is going to determine EVERYTHING about your big day. To be frank, it sucks that so much of it comes back to money, but after talking to several friends and family, I have heard horror stories about going into debt for your wedding day. This is the last thing that Ryan and I want to do, so we are choosing to stay within budget and hopefully come out even under budget if possible!! Reminding yourself that you have a choice in how well you stick to your wedding budget can help you feel empowered by the money situation and not a victim to it.
So, your first step is find out who is paying for the wedding and how much they are willing to contribute. The couples I work with come from different backgrounds so although in our culture it is very common to see the bride’s family paying, it also happens often that the groom’s side will make a big contribution. And, as more couples are waiting longer to get married, many brides and grooms pay for their own wedding themselves. The most important thing is to come up with a number that everyone feels good about.
Who’s contributing?
How much?
What’s in the Budget
Once my fiancé and I got the big picture number, it was helpful to break this up into categories on a spreadsheet. How much of the budget should go towards the venue? How much does a band cost? (We would LOVE to have an 80s or classic rock cover band - fingers crossed). With my experience, I was able to put a rough estimate together detailing everything from the venue to the rings, to the mani / pedi I will definitely need by then.
Since you are probably just starting out, I love the tool from Shutterfly for determining how much should go in each category. This step is very important because if you find that you don’t need to spend as much on flowers or alcohol for example, then you might have more to spend on a great dj or a yummy buffet dinner. Later it might be helpful to use this budgeting tool on The Knot to help you keep track of how much you’ve spent so far.
The Categories
Undoubtedly, the category you will spend the most on is your venue. This can feel like a huge chunk of your budget because it really will be. The venue will likely be 40 - 50% of your entire budget depending on what’s included. Don’t panic, the remaining money can be broken up and spread out into much smaller pieces! Most venues are described as one of two types (DIY vs. inclusive) and more will be on this in the following blog since it’s our next wedding planning step!
As a very rough estimate, here is what we are expecting for each category in our personal story:
Venue 40%
This includes the use of the space, basic rentals like tables and chairs, food and some booze, service charge and tax. Pro tip: Service charge and tax can add a huge amount to each venue so be sure to get a proposal from them including these things.
Photographer 12%
For me, the photos are one of the most important aspects of the big day. Photographers are pricey but they hold the key to lasting memories. Photographers will capture moments of your big day that you may not even get to witness first hand, and over time, the pictures will tell the story of your wedding day. Pro tip: Some photo packages include engagement sessions or printed albums. If you are trying to save money these may be items to do without and can be negotiated or removed.
Band or DJ 11%
Personally we really want a band! So we have put a little more in this category than you would need to with a DJ. Pro tip: DJ companies often have packages with photo booths and lighting so if these are important to you, ask your DJ!
Decor and Flowers 9%
This is the area where you may have the most flexibility if it’s necessary to cut and save somewhere. Pro tip: Ask your florist if you can reuse flowers from the ceremony to reception. This can often be done if she just stays through the ceremony to be sure it all looks flawless!
Coordinator 6%
This was a big one for us! Not having to work at my own wedding is crucial so I want to be sure to hire someone that I fully trust. I knew that I could do most of the planning by myself, but I will definitely want someone to come in during the last month to take care of all the small details. Pro tip: Some “Day of” packages really mean the final month and already include what others call “Month of” packages.
Attire and Beauty 5%
Since this budget includes the dress, it may be a much bigger category for some brides. I am just not typically the kind of girl that spends money on clothes so naturally I don’t have as much emphasis on this category as other brides I know. I have however, like I mentioned, budgeted a small amount into a few specific beauty details such as hair, make up, nails, and accessories like jewelry. Pro tip: Since this stuff can quickly add up, it’s good to put a little bit of money into each of these areas as a place holder until you know more about what you might like.
Other Categories to Remember
Invites and Stationery 3%
We plan to do traditional save the dates, invites and rsvp cards so I am budgeting about $5 per person for invites. This section will also include any paper goods or signage you would like to have at the reception such as a seating chart, place cards, and menus. We went with a very middle-of-the-road budget for this area but keep in mind it can be dressed up or dressed down depending on what your style is. You can easily embellish your invites with fancier paper, gold leaf font, glitter, etc. so if this is important to you, then I would add a bit more to this starting budget. Pro tip: A few smart ways to save money (and trees) in this category are to do email save the dates, online rsvps, and simple one-piece invites without multiple inserts such as hotel info and directions.
Rehearsal Dinner 3%
Depending on who is paying for the wedding, you may want to add a line item for the rehearsal dinner keeping in mind that traditionally, the groom’s family would host this occasion. Since our parents are both contributing in their own ways, we want to be sure this was accounted for. Pro tip: In most cases, only the guests that are participating in the ceremony and possibly their “plus ones” are invited to the rehearsal dinner. Out-of-towners are often in question here but this is totally at your discretion, and the rehearsal dinner should not be confused with a “welcome party” if you want to have one.
Hotel Rooms 1%
It is important to us that we have comfortable (and cute!) hotel rooms or airbnbs reserved for the night before and the night of the wedding so we have definitely put a chunk of change here. Pro tip: Some vendors may require a hotel night or two depending on the location of your wedding so be sure to ask about this and budget accordingly.
At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you are married to your favorite person. I wish that it was all fun and that money didn’t have to be a factor, but I believe that putting in the work in the beginning and asking the hard questions of yourself and your families, will ultimately set you up for a successful planning process. Plus, if you stick to your budget and come out on top, maybe you’ll have a little extra to spend on your honeymoon!
Images Foolishly Rushing In
Venue Le Meridien Delfina Santa Monica
Flowers + Coord Love Her Madly